Where to write?

(This is something that I was writing as part of an assignment from a creative writing textbook where I had to cover the screen and write on the topic of what I prefer to write with and why. I had no available word processor so I figured I might as well splat this on my blog since I was at it. Done in 10 minutes.)

In all perfect honestly, I prefer to use a computer above other writing media. There is something very clean and neat about having things on a computer, although my bias in that area may have more to do with my rather untidy handwriting (which in all fairness looks like a bunch of mad chickens were allowed to have free reign over a puddle of ink and a few blank pages). There is certainly something very satisfying about writing on paper, but it is rather slower for me, requires the extra effort of typing it up on the computer if I want to show it to anyone and ultimately, there is the plain fact that I usually not even I can not tell what the garbled mess is supposed to say once there is a whole page of tightly cluttered (I'm too cheap to write in every other line, even for clarity sake) scratchings, overlapping and reaching out up to two lines above or below. When the letters weren't much to look at, all melting into each other and lopsided, having other letters from far below or above zigzag over them gets unreadably messy.
Bottom line is that I prefer to use a computer. The trouble is that a computer is also the media that I do multiple other things, so distractions are ripe and plentiful. I've gotten so used to using it for recreational purposes that when I sit down at a computer, I immediately go into relaxation mode and it is time for some fun. It stops me from pulling up a word processor or blog post. Of course, that's not the only reason (my insecurities in regards to what I write are probably a larger factor) but its still one of the first obstacles that I encounter when I am trying to get down to some writing. Usually when I've sat down at a computer and decided that it was time to get my creative on and write some stuff, even if it was only meant to be for practice, I'll usually end up glancing at the clock and realizing that a few hours have passed and I haven't started yet but instead what I've done is chat with friends and checked the latest news, social or comic sites. It is an unfortunate overlap of pleasure and work that needs to be over come. But then, its probably that way for most creative jobs. How can the painter stop just doodling to finish that fresco that he promised the client, when every time he sits down at the sketching table his mind wanders and he starts doodling instead. Hopefully at some point the pleasure and work aspects will overlap (much like my scrabbling writing) because, after all, why else would be go through the trouble of working hard for years without pay, just in the hopes that one day someone will want to read our book?

Trains of Thought Derailed

Blogging to the empty void of the interwebs sometimes feels a bit like throwing your two cents in the ocean and hoping that a fish will spit back a bit of change. Of course I do sometimes get some response but I'm not active enough to hold the attention of regular bloggers. Most of my comments are from friends who I link to my blog although that somehow feels a bit like running to an adult with my crayon drawings and going 'look at what I did!' and getting a pat on the head.

In some ways the lack of regular and/or frequent readers is both encouraging and discouraging.

Because I won't be heard by a whole lot of people there is less chance that, if I were to say something I might one day regret, many would remember it or criticise me for it.
On the other hand, I also have very little to keep me coming back. As I've probably mentioned before, I have a great many hobbies. That means that if I only write as the fancy takes me the result is something like this blog, one or two posts every six months or so.

It certainly isn't that I don't have things to write about. Most of my days I'm mentally debating, writing a mental letter or explaining something and usually I'll think 'this is good stuff, I should blog this'. None the less it never tends to end up written down. Why? Simply because most of the time these trains of thoughts take place when I'm doing something else; for example walking to/from work, on the bus or even while cleaning the litter box. Basically anywhere that might let my mind be unoccupied enough to wander. Unfortunately this also usually means that its away from any computer I could use.

And don't think I didn't try just writing them down in a notebook. For years I've always carried a notebook in my bag and, despite having been graduated for over a year now, still have a plump pencil case in my bag. It frustrates my fashionable baby sister to no end how I refuse any bag that can't hold an A4 pad and pencil case (my notebook is smaller than A4 but I still like being able to have one if I want to). The problem with this method is that while I do write them down, I pretty much never transcribe what I write in the notebook into the computer. So that tends to be a bit of a dead end.

By the time I then do reach a computer I'm already to the end of my mental journey/ lecture/ letter and when my hands hoover over the keyboard I suddenly find it hard to recall at what point that particular train of thought set off and I find myself unable to write out the blog post or story that seemed such a masterpiece in my head.

In the end my genius doesn't seem to thrive beyond the confines of my own mind.