Wednesday, June 29

Where to write?

(This is something that I was writing as part of an assignment from a creative writing textbook where I had to cover the screen and write on the topic of what I prefer to write with and why. I had no available word processor so I figured I might as well splat this on my blog since I was at it. Done in 10 minutes.)

In all perfect honestly, I prefer to use a computer above other writing media. There is something very clean and neat about having things on a computer, although my bias in that area may have more to do with my rather untidy handwriting (which in all fairness looks like a bunch of mad chickens were allowed to have free reign over a puddle of ink and a few blank pages). There is certainly something very satisfying about writing on paper, but it is rather slower for me, requires the extra effort of typing it up on the computer if I want to show it to anyone and ultimately, there is the plain fact that I usually not even I can not tell what the garbled mess is supposed to say once there is a whole page of tightly cluttered (I'm too cheap to write in every other line, even for clarity sake) scratchings, overlapping and reaching out up to two lines above or below. When the letters weren't much to look at, all melting into each other and lopsided, having other letters from far below or above zigzag over them gets unreadably messy.
Bottom line is that I prefer to use a computer. The trouble is that a computer is also the media that I do multiple other things, so distractions are ripe and plentiful. I've gotten so used to using it for recreational purposes that when I sit down at a computer, I immediately go into relaxation mode and it is time for some fun. It stops me from pulling up a word processor or blog post. Of course, that's not the only reason (my insecurities in regards to what I write are probably a larger factor) but its still one of the first obstacles that I encounter when I am trying to get down to some writing. Usually when I've sat down at a computer and decided that it was time to get my creative on and write some stuff, even if it was only meant to be for practice, I'll usually end up glancing at the clock and realizing that a few hours have passed and I haven't started yet but instead what I've done is chat with friends and checked the latest news, social or comic sites. It is an unfortunate overlap of pleasure and work that needs to be over come. But then, its probably that way for most creative jobs. How can the painter stop just doodling to finish that fresco that he promised the client, when every time he sits down at the sketching table his mind wanders and he starts doodling instead. Hopefully at some point the pleasure and work aspects will overlap (much like my scrabbling writing) because, after all, why else would be go through the trouble of working hard for years without pay, just in the hopes that one day someone will want to read our book?

Wednesday, June 2

Trains of Thought Derailed

Blogging to the empty void of the interwebs sometimes feels a bit like throwing your two cents in the ocean and hoping that a fish will spit back a bit of change. Of course I do sometimes get some response but I'm not active enough to hold the attention of regular bloggers. Most of my comments are from friends who I link to my blog although that somehow feels a bit like running to an adult with my crayon drawings and going 'look at what I did!' and getting a pat on the head.

In some ways the lack of regular and/or frequent readers is both encouraging and discouraging.

Because I won't be heard by a whole lot of people there is less chance that, if I were to say something I might one day regret, many would remember it or criticise me for it.
On the other hand, I also have very little to keep me coming back. As I've probably mentioned before, I have a great many hobbies. That means that if I only write as the fancy takes me the result is something like this blog, one or two posts every six months or so.

It certainly isn't that I don't have things to write about. Most of my days I'm mentally debating, writing a mental letter or explaining something and usually I'll think 'this is good stuff, I should blog this'. None the less it never tends to end up written down. Why? Simply because most of the time these trains of thoughts take place when I'm doing something else; for example walking to/from work, on the bus or even while cleaning the litter box. Basically anywhere that might let my mind be unoccupied enough to wander. Unfortunately this also usually means that its away from any computer I could use.

And don't think I didn't try just writing them down in a notebook. For years I've always carried a notebook in my bag and, despite having been graduated for over a year now, still have a plump pencil case in my bag. It frustrates my fashionable baby sister to no end how I refuse any bag that can't hold an A4 pad and pencil case (my notebook is smaller than A4 but I still like being able to have one if I want to). The problem with this method is that while I do write them down, I pretty much never transcribe what I write in the notebook into the computer. So that tends to be a bit of a dead end.

By the time I then do reach a computer I'm already to the end of my mental journey/ lecture/ letter and when my hands hoover over the keyboard I suddenly find it hard to recall at what point that particular train of thought set off and I find myself unable to write out the blog post or story that seemed such a masterpiece in my head.

In the end my genius doesn't seem to thrive beyond the confines of my own mind.

Thursday, July 23

On Womanity

I have a hard time thinking of myself as a woman.

No, this is not an ego issue at all. Most of the time I find myself muttering 'I don't understand women', earning me odd looks from people that remind me that I, in fact, am one. As if that should give me some valuable inside info on the mysteries of women kind. But when I think of the concentrated idea of 'woman' or at least the one that is shown generally in books, television and other media, I have little to identify myself with.

Shopping, the highest duty of the 'woman', is an annoying but unavoidable choir for me (with the exception of gadget, computer and toy shopping). My looks have the underlying current of being only what is comfortable and makes me feel good rather than the 'beauty knows no pain' motto I see in some other women. The search for a mate or the quest for a boyfriend/husband that drives so many of the women I personally know holds little or no interest for me. And before you ask, no. I am not a lesbian, in or out of the closet.

Its not so much that I don't want some form of significant other but rather that I don't feel I need one. I've taken a long hard look at such relationships from various sources (books, television and the people I know) and come to the conclusion that rather than spending my time and effort trying to find a boyfriend, I'm going to direct that energy into making friends. All around me I see people in serial relationships that, when it comes down to it, have very few friends. And in all honesty, I'd rather have lots of friends than a long history of men, women or other, in my life.

And before you say that this turned into a rant about relationships I'd like to point out that this could have just as easily turned into a rant about make up, or hair, or clothes. All of those things are what seem to make or break a woman more than say... breasts, a vagoo, and regular periods (although that last one seems to be optional these days).

In the end I figure that in body I most certainly fall into the category of 'female' but as for being a woman... can't I just be human?

Tuesday, June 2

Back Again.

Sorry for the disappearing act for those few of you who are reading my rambling. Having come down with this seasons flu (won't bother you with details, lets just say it wasn't nice) around easter I managed to get dangerously behind on my coursework which then took all my time. To be perfectly honest I probably could have thrown up a post or two but I found it really hard to get back on the horse, so to speak, after having it so rudely interrupted. Sorry if this post is somewhat uninteresting but I hope it will at least serve to jump-start my inner blogger :P

So now I've graduated...

Thats funny, I don't feel any different. It seems that after such a big effort it should feel different somehow. Of course, I haven't done the whole dress up and gone to receive my piece of paper yet. Well, for now at least I'm just sludging through the job market, hoping desperately to find something that is interesting with a halfway decent pay. It doesn't even matter where it is seeing as I don't have a permanent address and am more than ready to get out of my parent's house. Who knows? Maybe I'll stumble over something nice at some point.

What do you lot thing of the whole thing?

Tuesday, April 7

Ok, so I admit it.

I was wrong. Go and do your little victory dances, enjoy it while it lasts, but hurry back cause I'm not done here.

Today I discovered that there are blogs out there that are actually on interesting thing. Seriously!

Ok, so maybe I was slightly quick to judge but the kinds of blogs I had been exposed to didn't exactly attract me. Of course, I knew about the political/religious blogs but those aren't really topics that hold my interest for long at a time (not long enough to keep me reading through a whole post, much less the comments). This scene is more for my mother, the blog guru of my family.

What really repelled me from blogging where the ones I saw a lot of during my A-levels. Every blog I saw was a dear diary type, the topic of which being either of the "My life is hell! I didn't get x grade/ mom won't let me do x" or the "I got so drunk and slept with someone whom I don't know, Wohoo". No, none of this attracted me at all. I've always found this quite pointless and very egocentric.

While all blogging is probably egocentric to a level, these blogs that I've actually found interesting are on much more interesting than the dear diary or news types. The blogs I enjoy are the ones that share the thoughts of people who write on topics I like, such as writing, pets, hand crafts, art or technology, just to name a few. Of course there are still plenty of blogs out there that aren't really that interesting but finding the few that really are is quite exiting. :D

So wish me luck as I put my (cyber) walking boots on and begin my journey through the great wood that is the blogsphere.

Few of the blogs that caught my attention and might be worth a bit of yours:
Pink Ink (don't you just love the name?)
Unbilled Time
Shapely Prose

Monday, April 6

Told you so!

See! See! I said I was bad at this blogging stuff. As usually I've totally forgotten about this thing for a whole week... or more, can't remember. xP Well, at least I didn't forget as long as I did with my first lifejournal (created on a whim when I was feeling down) where I wrote one post and then forgot about it for a whole year xD

So what is there to blog about today...

Prom Praise.
I came, I saw, I wasn't impressed.

Don't get me wrong, it had a few songs that were nice but seriously, not worth the fuss people have been making over it since I moved to this country. But I'm not a very musical inclined person. Most likely, I'd never have gone if it were not for a friend of my family inviting us to come along. I kinda started the concert off on the wrong foot though, seeing as when I arrived, tired from preforming with my choir and traveling back and forth (my concert was down in Bournemouth while the Prom Praise was in London), I was informed that my ticket was an arena one. For those of you who aren't familiar with that it means I was standing all night. I don't mind it terribly but I do mind when I'm not told that I will be. My feet were already tired and I selected shoes more for the aesthetic rather than comfort. So I started off annoyed. Of course, I had a book with me so I was fairly content just sitting down, hidden by the crowd of people, and reading while I listened. All in all a fairly pleasant evening but can't say it impressed me much. Still worth a listen if you're a big music lover.

And if you get arena tickets, make sure to pack a picnic! ;) Quite a few people there had blankets and packed sandwiches, a lot smarter than buying them from the bar with its twice inflated prices. Makes it a bit cosier too.

Tuesday, March 31

Post the First.

Right, so I'm not much of a blogger yet I made another one. Why?

Because I felt like trying the whole 'this is what I did/thought today' type and it didn't seem quite right to that stuff up along with my book criticisms. So joy and happynes! I have a personal blog. The url is kinda lameish but meh, I couldn't think of anything better.

So what's on my mind right now?

The comic 'Valhalla' or as in Icelandic 'Valhöll'. Me and my friend were talking about silly foreign people and their misconceptions of the norsh gods. Amusing stuff. But anyway, suddenly I remembered this comic from somewhere back in the dusty memories of childhood (ok, so childhood wasn't that long ago but it sound better!). When I was little this was one of the comics I'd read and re-read and re-read in my local library which was through my child and teen years like my 'Cheers', where everyone knew my name... ok, so just the librarians did... well the old ladies did anyway. But I spend probably more time in the library than everywhere else (except perhaps school, that gigantic waster of my time) and read almost every book that I could get my hands on.

So this comic then, just reminded me of many hours in those horrible, cheap library chairs of my youth and I just wanted to read them so bad. After a search they were found on the lovely bay of pirates, although in English rather than the Icelandic I read them in originally but oh well. And one day, this series will be on the shelves of my future home and I will share it with... whomever will be in my life at that point onwards ;)

Right, skip along now. Go read or jog or write or pet a kitten or whatever else it is that makes you happy :D